The Ultimate Guide to Winning Without Words

Today, I will be talking on winning without words because I feel it is something everyone needs to learn in this life.

I know there’s always room for improvement but as I look back on this year, I haven’t had many regrets on the things I’ve said. This was never the case in past years, especially in my junior years in Secondary school. I was always saying something with my razor blade mouth, I always had a saucy reply for everything and ended up always saying things I shouldn’t have said. A senior once remarked that I was a parrot, always talking. My reply?

“Is there any constitution or place in the Bible that says it is wrong to talk too much?”

You can bet I was punished and reported to the Vice Principal, who dealt with me. I ended up writing an undertaking that said I will keep my mouth shut and never be rude again. It honestly wasn’t funny. My mouth got me into tons and tons of trouble, I remember someone telling me they had never seen me with my mouth shut and I remember feeling so ashamed.

All because I didn’t know how to win without words.

Honestly, when people say I don’t talk much and I’m reserved, I just smile because they don’t know, they really don’t. I prefer not being too much of a talker to being that girl, I used to be, a parrot with absolutely no filter whatsoever with her mouth

I found out later that to answer the question I asked that senior that day, the Bible actually has a lot to say about keeping your mouth shut.

Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
Proverbs 17:28 NLT

The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips.
Proverbs 18:7 NLT

There are a gazillion other verses. Like seriously.

There are situations where you have to be assertive and speak up but then there are situations when not saying something is the best thing you can say for yourself.

Think before you talk…

You’ve probably heard this a gazillion times but do you actually follow it? Do you actually have a filter in your mouth or your mouth just opens up and you say whatever to whoever without even thinking it through?

Don’t be that person who flies off the handle at every single thing they hear. Don’t take nonsense from anyone but at the same time, don’t rush to reply.

When someone says something offensive to you, ask yourself,

  • “What exactly did this person just say?” In fact, take your time to understand it in the context the person meant it. Of course, there are things that require an immediate reply but nobody will actually kill you if you don’t just say things in the heat of the moment
  • “What do I have to say?” think about your reply carefully
  • “Does this person deserve a reply?” I honestly think some people don’t deserve your time of the day. You can’t even afford to waste your energy replying some human beings
  • “Is my reply worth it?”
  • “If I keep my mouth shut, will I die?” Let me answer it for you- NO!!!

  • “Do I really have to be rude?”


Honestly, replying someone who has just said something offensive to you can be sweet. Giving them a piece of your mind or finishing them off feels so nice and empowering but it is really mature to bite your tongue, keep your cool and say nothing.

Okay it may not seem mature at times but it is a lot better than leaving embarrassed, regretting what you may have said. It sure is a lot better than hurting someone else who may have hurt your feelings, we are called to walk in love, whether they treat us with love or not.

This is a hard pill to swallow, I know. Someone is asking, how can I possibly bite my tongue and let someone go without saying my own. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you daily, every moment you’re faced with such temptation to talk back, ask Him to help you and if you still have to reply, ask him for the wisdom to say what is right. God can help you and I know this because he helped me. How I wish you could just ask someone who knew me!

Honestly, winning without words is more than just a statement. There’s still another WWW, called Winning With Words and I can’t wait to write about.

See, this tongue is a deadly weapon, but with the help of God, we can harness it and bridle it. I said there’s room for improvement for me and there is. Sometimes I forget to think before I talk and I end up really regretting it at times. We have to work on this seriously, I really don’t want us regretting the words we have spoken, losing relationships and opportunities in the process.

I love you guys.

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