Come, take the True Friends Test…

Hey guys!!! How are you doing??? 😌

So, today’s post is going to be some kind of test of true friends but not in the context you’re thinking. Yes, you’re not going to be testing to see if your friends are your true friends, you’re testing to see if you are a true friend. I’m saying so because so many of us are experts in pointing out who’s our true friend or not but have we ever really wondered if we’re truly great friends to our friends?

table shaking alert❗

I’m going to start this post by apologizing because well…I’m going to be shaking a lot of tables, I mean a lot! Mine included because I’m still growing and trust, if we are ever really going to be able to grow, we’re going to have to start by being able to admit that we can be wrong and that’s there’s no such thing as perfection.

So yes, we are basically going to be removing the log in our own eyes and paying attention to those three fingers pointing back at us when ever we point fingers at our friends.

So now, it’s time to take the test and I only ask that you are honest to yourself and open minded. Keep your answers to yourself and let God work on your heart. If you take this seriously, you might just be the greatest friend your friends will ever have:

Are you a true friend?

  • Are you selfish?

me me me

It is so sad to know that there are friends that can’t sacrifice for each other…I think the whole point of love is for us to be others-centered and actually we can’t say we love our friends and when they need something, the last person they’d go to is you because they know you won’t give. A selfish life is not worth living,even outside the zones of friendship. It doesn’t always have to be about you. The Bible says Love is not selfish and so if you’re selfish and claiming to love your friends, you’re not living in line with God’s word.

Of course, selfishness doesn’t just manifest in material things. It comes in forms of things like time and all the rest. If you’re a true friend, you actually won’t have a problem giving to your friends so ask yourself today, am I selfish to my friends?

dont be selfish

  • Jealous much?

Some so called “true friends” can’t stand to see their other friends thrive. This commonly happens among the ladies. Today your friend is looking all glammed up and pretty and compliments are just coming her way and inside you’re burning with Jealousy?

May I ask why?

Or maybe your friend is doing better than you in school or they got into that school you’ve been trying to get to or they got that promotion and you’re jealous? You can’t even be happy for your friend when they are successful or even if you seem to be, it’s all outward and inside you, your heart is already rotting.

jealous much

I know, you’re probably asking, what if I can’t help it? What if I don’t want to be jealous?🤔

Well, a long time ago, I had a close friend whose life always seemed to be perfect… perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect body, very spiritual if I may add, and at that point in my life, things were never going as planned, my prayer life was dead, I got my heart broken by someone, my front hair was eating away and in the morning I would just watch her go about with her perfect everything and be like damn!!! God is partial. 😖😔Yes, my jealousy even made me doubt God’s faithfulness in my life but when I realized all this, I prayed for grace because I really wanted to be happy for her and it worked! It was more of me not appreciating the grace of God on my life and it had nothing to do with her “perfection”.

I think self esteem plays an important part in this but this is another Blogpost for another day.

So yes, if you want to stop being jealous you can actually go on your knees and ask for grace. I’m not saying this to judge because look at me, I’m not perfect but I’ve learnt that God’s grace is sufficient for me.

Are you willing to learn that too?

  • Competition

game on

I won’t lie, this is something I used to be guilty of and still struggle with nowadays. I’ve lived my whole life competing to be the best. Like, I’ve always hated losing, MOST especially to my friends and even after I’ve learnt to be free from this, I consciously have to remind myself that life is not a competition.😌

Some of us can’t just stand losing to people but it’s not right, I can’t remember the part of the Bible I read one day in the message version and it said something about being content with second place (probably Timothy, I’ll check)

One day a friend taught me something and I did well in my test and she happened to get a lower mark than me. She didn’t talk to me for sometime when I went to thank her, she made this comment

“I don’t like teaching people things. It annoys me when they do better than me”

If the above statement is you, please you need to reset your mind because you are not a true friend. Everybody’s race is different so you may be thinking you have to outrun someone but the person is on a Nike canvas and you’re just wearing plain old bathroom slippers😁 Everybody at their own pace, please understand!!!

  • The Big P test

beyonce

Let’s face it, some people are so proud, they constantly boast to their friends, always rubbing it in that they are always better off. This always causes jealousy and it’s wrong.

Again, some of us are so proud, we cant even admit when we are in the wrong and some people will definitely never apologize first, even if it kills them and that is so wrong in so many ways. Pride always stands in the way of true friendship so I suggest you cut it off.🔪

  • “I DON’T CARE” attitude

so what shrug

You simply don’t care. I will really go in depth in this one because it bothers me:

1. You never bother to check in. Your friend(s) is always the one checking up on you. They go MIA for a reason and you don’t notice and even when they come back, you can’t ask.

2. You never pray for them: yes, some of us here are very used to being self centered in our prayers and that’s not good enough. Yes, we all have problems but have you considered that praying for your friends might not be that complicated at all. Like it’s not that hard for you to pray for them at all…

ben-white-146950-unsplash

3. Never listening to them: some of us just like the sound of our voices…we can talk to a friend for hours on end and only talk about our life and not theirs. Sometimes, all people want is to be listened to and sadly enough, we don’t listen. We hear, but do we listen? Is it possible to listen to our friends without them even speaking at all? Yes, but we can’t because we haven’t even really done a good job listening to them while they speak.😑

listen

4. Not making them feel special: let’s face it, everyone on this earth just wants to feel special once in a while. I know I do and that’s why I have to talk about this. MAKE YOUR FRIENDS FEEL SPECIAL!!! I can only say this in so many words, please if you fall under the categories of friends that are not mindful towards their friends, not involving them in things and forgetting important things concerning their friends and the rest, as it applies to your friendship, you need to change. So please change!!!

5. Your choice, their feelings: I have to tread very lightly on this because well, I’ve gone through this and l don’t mean to hurt any feelings here, to those who know me in real life… Sometimes we just unknowingly hurt our friends by letting them go. Why does that have to happen? We let misunderstandings, little things and pride overlap every friendship memories and then you leave and move on with your life like you don’t care. It’s so unfair and we should never let any of our friends go through this. That’s not very nice

thats not very nice

Always-let-them-know-you

  • Ghosting

lucas-ludwig-1109929-unsplash

I’m pretty sure my blog family is going to crucify me for posting this because I haven’t been posting religiously as I ought and I’m sorry.😅💕…so yes, princess the hypocrite is saying that its wrong to leave your friends hanging. It’s wrong to just go MIA and just not let them know what is happening.

I’m this type of person that when people hurt me, I withdraw. I disappear from their lives instead of telling them but because I feel like they should know but the truth is that no one is like you, you might take things to heart but the other person doesn’t see the harm in it. So you need to talk, communication is key!! Please do not just run away and go into ghost mode… It’s wrong and if your table is shaking tremendously like mine, you have a lot of work to do.😅💕

  • Attitude

attitude

you see this girl’s face? this is some people’s default setting, all day long, all week long, all month long, all year long. it is absolutely irritating…

Well, I had to save the most disgusting and annoying thing for the last and I hope you all know that I’m not talking about attitude as in “attitude” but like the other way round. Please what is so special about having an attitude? what is so cool about being a mean snub? Like is there a prize for it? 🙄Why do we always have to treat people rudely, most especially our friends?

So guys, at the end of this, I want you to think about the places you default in, like this is a you thing so don’t go around thinking about which one your friends default in and please make a conscious effort to change and become a TRUE friend. We can’t even stand our enemies if we can’t even stand the friends we claim to love and how are we going to love our enemies, if we can’t stand them? And if we don’t love our enemies, wouldn’t we be disobeying Jesus? So it all starts with our friendships, I’ll say no more.

If you have any additions to my list or any thoughts, please share them in the comments. Remember, we’re all growing here

I love you guys!!💕💖💖

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